Stories told by friends and family talk of the young, funny teenager; a friend to everyone, boisterous, everyone knew when he was around. And then, one day, the word spread quickly, he was dead. And the death was preventable – the death was suicide.
Friends and family many times say the same thing; I didn’t know. She always seemed happy or he was the life of the party. But inside, the life was lonely, depressed, scared, or even possibly drowning pain with drugs or alcohol. The signs were there, but who would believe it? This loved and loving person couldn’t really mean it when she said she was going to kill herself. But she did mean it, and so do all those who attempt suicide and tell someone before they take that final plunge.
The problem isn’t always that others ignore it. Many times the suicidal talk is veiled in terms that only others from the same culture would recognize, according to Paul Quinnett, Ph.D., president and CEO of The QPR Institute Inc. in Spokane, Wash. And for those who do survive a suicide attempt, the one thing they tell others is once they started, they realized that they did not want to die.
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among those ages 15-24. Among those who commit suicide, about 90 percent have a diagnosable mental health disorder, and most predominantly are suffering from depression, according to Quinnett. In addition, many are using alcohol and drugs.
But choosing life isn’t as simple as turning back the hands of time. Communication and a better understanding of mental health issues by society is key.
Quinnett, who has worked in the mental health field and suicide prevention for many years, has seen improvements, but not enough when so many lives are still being lost each day.
“The reality is that we are spending insufficient funds in this area,” he said. “There are people out there doing good, but the amount of money spent on research and service delivery to youth is underfunded.”
For example, he added, in his state of Washington, two people a week commit suicide and less than $350,000 is spent for suicide prevention in his state each year. That’s 100 suicides a year and from a public health perspective, the funding ranks near the bottom. And that is true in most states, Quinnett said.
According to information from QPR, 14 percent of American youths 12-17 experienced at least one episode of major depressive disorder, and more than 7 percent thought about killing themselves. An estimated 712,000 youths tried to kill themselves during their worst or most recent major depressive episode.
“We need to get these youths at the first thought of suicide,” Quinnett said. “We need to reach out to all of them who have these thoughts and voice them, because we don’t know which ones will take the journey to act upon the suicide.”
The suicidal youth goes from an idea to planning out the suicide and are motivated by stopping the pain, Quinnett explained.
The best way to combat suicide is to get help for the suicidal person. But because of the stigma that is connected to mental health issues that often puts the suicidal person out of touch with those who could help him.
“The missing piece is research,” Quinnett said. “We have the evidence that we can save lives, but we need a greater educational program. These are preventable deaths.”
Educating the public is key to suicide prevention. Understanding the signs and following the right procedures can help a suicidal teen to the help he needs and prevent a death. For Quinnett’s organization, QPR – Question, Persuade and Refer – that means teaching lay persons and professionals to recognize and respond positively to someone exhibiting suicide warning signs and behaviors.
It’s estimated that 60-70 percent of suicides could be prevented with any education, along with intervention from the mental health and medical community, according to Quinnett.
Active Minds Inc. in Washington D.C. is working in a similar method on college and some high school campuses, as well as community organizations.
“Our goal is to change the conversation on mental health,” said Alison Malmon, executive director of Active Minds. “We need to break the silence and educate and enlighten everyone on mental health issues.”
The organization works to increase students’ awareness of mental health issues and provide resources, as well as serve as a liaison between students and the mental health community.
Malmon founded Active Minds in 2001 when she was a junior at the University of Pennsylvania, a year after the suicide of her brother, Brian, who was receiving treatment for schizoaffective disorder. Malmon wants to end the stigma of mental illness and believes that is done by talking about it and not staying silent. Active Minds works with students to empower them to tell their stories and reach out to friends, so they know they are not alone.
“People need to know where help is,” she said. “We need to change the culture around mental health so people will seek the help they need. The stigma exists because of silence.”
Active Minds members tell stories and share experiences as the organizations goes across the country, but also encourages mental health issues to be included in pop culture, movies and conversations.
“It’s not just psychiatrists who can help, but all of us can,” she said. “While we may not be able to be the one to ‘save’ a friend, we can get that friend to the help he or she needs.”
For example, if a friend tells you he is going to kill himself, take him seriously. Then take him to a counseling center or call one. For anyone seeking help, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is a call away, 800-273-TALK (8255), and that number directs the caller to the center in her area where she can talk live with someone who can help.
However, Malmon said, if you’re extremely worried about a friend, take him directly to the hospital. “It’s better to err on the side of caution.”
She also warns that it’s not your job as a friend or family member to make the suicidal person feel better; it’s your job to assist them to seek professional help.
Even though we may not want to believe our loved one would kill himself, it happens and it happens, in many cases, with warning. Know the signs and intervene, the experts say.
According to the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention, warning signs include:
· Observable signs of serious depression – unrelenting low mood, pessimism, hopelessness, desperation, anxiety, psychic pain and inner tension, withdrawal and sleep problems.
· Increased use of alcohol and/or drugs
· Recent impulsiveness and taking unnecessary risks
· Threatening suicide or expressing a wish to die
· Making a plan – giving away prized possessions, sudden or impulsive purchase of a firearm, obtaining other means of killing oneself, such as poisons or medications
· Unexpected rage or anger
The majority of those who do kill themselves have told others of their plan. If someone is talking about or making plans to commit suicide, the American Foundation of Suicide Prevention warns not to leave that person alone and to remove him from the vicinity of anything he could use for suicide. Find professional help, whether at a clinic or hospital, or call 911 or the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.
Being a part of the solution to suicide prevention is something the faith communities have also been working on. A 2009 report, “The Role of Faith Communities in Preventing Suicide,” looks at the issue to find faith communities’ role in prevention.
Developing and disseminating accurate information and collaborating with mental health clinicians are two things churches, synagogues and other worship centers can do. Many times, clergy are brought in after the fact, but being keyed into the community resources can make them a valuable tool in suicide prevention.
For the Rev. Glenn Meyer of Mount Calvary Evangelical Lutheran Church in Fort Wayne, Ind., connecting to community resources is a necessity. As a pastor who recently arrived at his new church home, keying into those resources is a priority.
“It’s a moral responsibility by us to make connections to community and youth,” he said.
Bringing youth together with adults they can trust and talk with is also a key, he added. “Kids don’t only need peers, but they need to interact with others, as well.”
That’s echoed by the non-profit organization, To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA). “It’s OK to go to an adult to help a friend,” said Chloe Grabanski, communications and benefit coordinator for the organization that is “dedicated to presenting hope and finding help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide. “
TWLOHA battles the stigma of mental health issues, adding to the conversation through its Facebook and Twitter pages, as well as meeting people where they are – at college campuses, communities and through music that is a large part of life.
With deep roots in music and collaborating with artists wearing its T-shirts that help to raise funds for the organization and programs it supports, TWLOHA has given $750,000 to treatment and recovery programs.
It also has begun its I Am Alive partnership with Hope Line to begin an online crisis counseling program to offer help through instant messages.
“Just be there. Show them love, care and listen,” Chloe suggested when reaching out to someone in crisis.
TWLOHA began in 2006 telling a story to help a friend by selling T-shirts to help pay for that friend’s treatment, using a MySpace page. From there grew the organization that has taken the conversation on the road, speaking its message of hope and help at concerts, universities, festivals and churches.
Some have started the conversation and are making information about mental health a part of every day life. More funding for research and implementation continues to be something organizations work toward by keeping the conversation going and growing. Increasing awareness, fighting for accessible mental health programs and combating the stigma of the issue continues – all to save a life from ending too soon.
